Follow Me

Have you ever read a book that has literally changed your life? I'm not talking about a really good book that you connect with and want to keep reading over and over (I've read many of those). I'm talking about a book that, as you're reading it, the content profoundly smashes into you like a freight train and, like someone actually being hit by a freight train, legitimately and completely alters your life forever. Have you ever read something that makes you take a step back and and re-evaluate the way you've lived your whole life? Something that, after reading it, convicts you to actually change your lifestyle from that point forward. I haven't read as many of these books. In fact, at this point in my life I think I've only read two books like this, including the one I'm referring to now. But when you do, man, it's something else. It's concrete proof that the Spirit moves in and through the works of those who are faithful to reach the masses. For me, the past couple weeks have been a sort of Paul on the road to Damascus kind of experience; I feel as if something like scales have fallen from my eyes. I'd have expected it to be because of an interaction with one of the children I work with or an enlightening conversation with a poor Basotho person in the mountains who, despite having nothing that this world values, has everything that matters. But nope. It's been reading a book, and a book by an American at that. I love how God uses the mundane.

If you have ever read Follow Me by David Platt you may know exactly the kind of conviction I'm talking about. That's kind of how this all started - well the Spirit working through his writing, but you get the picture. Anyway, I'm reading through it now and IT. IS. WRECKING. ME. It's challenging the heck out of me. After chapter one I seriously had to consider whether I was a Christian or not in the biblical sense. The conclusion I came to: no, I'm not. For all my life I've allowed God to move and call me to the point of uncomfortability and then I stopped. I bought into that St. Francis of Assisi quote, "Preach the Gospel at all times and, when necessary, use words." Now don't get me wrong, everyone should be able to tell I'm a Christian simply by how I live my life; they should see Christ in me before they ever speak to me. But seriously, "if necessary use words"?! Of course using words is necessary! How can we ever expect someone who doesn't know Jesus to fully grasp how wide and deep and long His love for them is if all we do is walk around acting "Christian," whatever that means. They need to be TOLD how incredibly much God loves them. They need to be TOLD the Gospel story. And, like it or not, they need to be TOLD the cost of not embracing the Truth. (Seriously though, look in Scripture! There are tons of instances where the Spirit comes upon a person in both the Old and New Testaments. What's the first thing they do when He does? They SPEAK!)

So as I came to this revelation, I thought to myself, "How many people have I explicitly shared the Gospel story with?" You know what I realized? Zero. Zip. Nil. Notta. None. I can't think of a single instance in my life where I have sat down with someone and simply spoke the Gospel to them. In almost 23 years of calling myself a follower of Jesus I haven't followed the single most important command He gives me. Wow. That's disheartening. "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you." Shoot! I've seriously been dropping the ball here. He doesn't say settle down with people you know and love and occasionally talk about me when you happen to think about it (which is what I've been doing the last 22 years). He doesn't say go deep with a bunch of people who already know me and then stop there (also what I've been doing). He says "GO!" That's active! Nothing passive about it! "Go tell people about me! Teach them who I am! Tell them I love them! Teach them to teach others!" Needless to say, the conviction has been strong with this one as I've read this book.

So, that brought me back to thinking about life after Beautiful Gate. Seminary has always been on the plate as an option. When I realized, though, that the purpose of my life, God's will for my entire life, wasn't something that needed to be discovered, but was sitting right in front of me in the pages of Scripture for all this time, it hit me that seminary isn't so optional anymore. If I have the opportunity to better equip myself to share Jesus with the world then that's what I have to do. So yea, decision made. Exciting. But I also love Lesotho. I love the Basotho people. Part of me thinks my experience with BG has been a means to an end for God to show me my mission field. Here, in the city, most people know about Jesus. Whether they believe in Him as the Son of God and Savior of the world is another story, but they know about Him. A few hours in any direction of me are mountains. Mountains full of people who are living on the brink of poverty. Many of them who have heard little to nothing about the Truth of the Gospel. Coincidence? I think not! God used BG to bring me to Lesotho because He knew my love for these children even before I did, but I think, now, He ultimately brought me to BG in order to instill a love for all Basotho people in me. And He has. Big time. These people are my brothers and my sisters and many of them don't know the Truth. I have the Truth. And I know that without the Truth they will be sentenced to an eternity of hell. So, it makes sense for me just sit back and keep that Truth to myself, only talking about it with other Christians, right? Yea, maybe if I want to be one of those that Jesus looks at on Judgment Day and says "I never knew you." That's not what I want. That's not who I want to be. I want to stand before my Maker and Savior, be caught up in His embrace and hear Him whisper, "Well done, good and faithful servant" into my ear. 

All this is to say that God has opened my eyes to see His will for my life: to be a disciple maker. To speak the Gospel to people who haven't heard it or don't understand it. To be a Truth teller. To be one of His emissaries. With that in mind my plan is to, Lord willing, extend my time at BG and in Lesotho. I'm not sure for how long yet. I also plan on going to seminary. There are a number of online programs, both MDiv and otherwise that I'm looking into. Your prayers would be appreciated throughout this time as I discern the specifics of His will for the next few steps of my life. This revelation is scary. I'll be honest, it's the scariest thing I've ever thought about. I've never been exceedingly bold, outgoing, or extroverted. But I'm scared because I'm still entrenched in the norms of this world. I still let words and phrases like "tolerance" and "Who am I to say to someone else..." dictate how I live and how I love. But I am an adopted son of the Most High. He has called me to higher things. He concludes his command to go to the nations with a promise. "Surely I am with you always to the end of the age." What comfort! I can withstand being rejected or thought of as arrogant. I can handle the awkwardness of those conversations. The Lord is on my side and He is with me in those conversations and situations. And I know I will never regret a second of it if someone's eyes are opened to the Truth of the Gospel. My mission is clear.

Exalted Father in Heaven,

Thank you for opening my eyes to the truth of the Gospel. Thank you for waking me up from my slumber. Thank you for bringing me out of my stupor. I'm so grateful for the clarity of your Word. So often we make Scripture more complicated than it needs to be because we don't want to have to be uncomfortable, we don't want to have to make others uncomfortable. But comfort is not our concern. You call us higher. I pray that you would sustain this calling in me. Do not allow me to sink back into my old ways, old habits, old tendencies. May I truly put off my old self. The old is gone and the new has come. May my life honestly reflect the Truth that to live is Christ and to die is gain. Make me into a person who would willingly die to see your Truth and your Kingdom embraced by all. Lead me and guide me each and every day. Give me strength, boldness, and a will that is your own. I love you, Abba.

In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,

Amen