Sunday, January 31, 2016

New Beginnings (Again)

It is so similar…

Returning to Lesotho, in a lot of ways, has been so familiar. I experienced many of the same feelings departing the U.S. that I did last year. I felt sad that I had to leave my family and friends for another long period of time. I know God will care for them, but it’s difficult knowing life moves on back home and there’s a lot that I will miss. I also felt a great deal of excitement for the adventures ahead of me.
Walking back on campus for the first time was much the same as last year as well. I felt peace and comfort knowing this will be my home for the next several months.
The love and joy I experienced when I saw the kids for the first time was just as intense and overwhelming.
I’m living with the same people I lived with when I came last year. I get to work with many of the same incredible people this year too.
Just like last year I enjoy spending free time with the other volunteers. We eat meals together. We go to church together. We go on adventures together (Lord willing we’ll be hiking this weekend!). We watch Marvel movies on the weekends together.
The local people, both the staff at Beautiful Gate and people around town, are still so incredibly friendly and I love getting to know them.
The joy of seeing kids brought into new families and the sorrow of seeing others abandoned are still overwhelming and incredibly motivating.
In so many ways it feels like I never left. It feels like I’ve picked up right where I left off and no time has passed in between.

But at the same time…

It is so different…

Returning to Lesotho, in a lot of ways, seems so foreign. It definitely feels like home, but so many things have changed on campus and around town. When I drive to the mall to go grocery shopping I find that several shops have moved or gone out of business. Friends I made last year are no longer around.
Some of the kids I grew to love are no longer on campus. In some cases that’s a huge answer to prayer because they are now with forever families, receiving the love and care they deserve. In others, though, it’s heartbreaking because we have had to transfer the to other care facilities or return them to situations where we cannot be sure they are being cared for at all.
My daily schedule is different. Instead of going to a baby house at 7am I go to the office by 8am. Despite not having to start my day until later I find myself getting up earlier (like 5:30am earlier). I got to watch the sunrise on my first morning back. In the mornings I eat breakfast (I know. Me? Breakfast?) and I spend quality time with God in the Word. Those are the only parts of my day that’s a given. Unlike last year, when I pretty much knew where I’d be at any given moment throughout the day, I never know what’s going to be on the agenda.
I’m no longer a baby house volunteer or a “house father,” but now I’m a North American Ambassador. I’ll get to work more directly with those who love and support Beautiful Gate! But I also won’t be as directly involved with the kids’ daily schedules. Thank God for afternoon playgroup where I can go out and be with my kids.
In some significant ways I can really feel my absence over the last few months. It feels like so much has happened and changed since I was last here in September.


Despite the seeming conflict between the similar and the different, the old and the new, I take comfort in the fact that my God is constant. In the good and the bad He is still God. He is with me every moment of every day, whether I’m in Africa or in North America. Even in the continual back and forth nature of my life I find stability knowing I’m right where God wants me to be.

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