Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.
- Proverbs 3:5-6
As I ponder over this verse I realize how spot on it sums up where I find myself right now, not only as a missionary, but even more broadly as a Christian in general. I'd be lying if I said I've been reflecting on these words often since I've been home from Lesotho. In fact, it kind of just popped into my head as I sat down to write this post. Not a coincidence, I think.
Since I returned to the U.S. in September my big goal has been raising financial support to head back to Lesotho in January 2016. Most people know by now, but I'll be taking up the mantle of North American Ambassador for Beautiful Gate, and a huge part of that position is fundraising for the orphanage (on top of raising funds for my personal budget). The funny thing I've learned over the last couple of months, and something I kind of already knew beforehand, is that I don't like fundraising! I don't like asking people to donate their hard-earned money. I hate that my mind often associates a dollar amount with people now. I feel like I'm scheming and plotting to manipulate people out of their money a lot of the time. I fear people are going to start thinking everything I do with and for them is to get money. It's hard. It's uncomfortable. It is not aptly named - FUNdraising is not FUN. To add insult to injury, sometimes I don't feel like I'm even a very good fundraiser. As I write this, I'm hoping to head back to Beautiful Gate in a little over a month. Also, as I write this, I've still got less than half of one year's budget accounted for, and I'm committed for at least three years! If you had told me a year ago that one of the two major parts of my job would be asking people for money, I would have laughed and said you were nuts.
But here I am.
The craziest part about this situation, though, is not that I find myself doing something I don't particularly like. Let's be real, a lot of people do jobs they don't like. No, the crazy thing is that I wouldn't change it for the world. Despite the discomfort and the anxiety fundraising produces in me, I know this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. Never before in my life have I been so sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God has called me to do this. And that's where Proverbs comes in. As I strive to do the work God has set before me I have to trust Him and Him alone. I cannot lean on my own understanding because I simply do not understand. I don't understand why God called me down this particular path. All I know for sure is that He did. I need to constantly remember to submit all that I am and all that I have to Him. When I do this, when I'm in relationship with my Abba, when I throw caution to the wind and trust in Him to provide all I need and to catch me when I fall, He will be there. He's orchestrated this grand plan to get me where I am today, and He's blessed me with the awareness to see all the little steps it took to get me here. He hasn't failed me yet and I know that he won't.
In the Gospel of Luke, after he predicts his impending death, Jesus tells his disciples:
"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me" (9:23). I love this verse. Does that sound strange? This simple phrase seems to suggest that a life of following Christ will be extremely difficult. That's exactly why I love it, though. It reminds me that Jesus doesn't call us to a life that is easy. He doesn't call us to be comfortable. Jesus knows that it's precisely doing the hard things that push us out of our comfort zones that will cause us to grow. He knew from the beginning that following him meant his followers were going to have to sacrifice. The beautiful thing is that Jesus doesn't call us to sacrifice simply for the sake of sacrificing. He goes on to tell his disciples, "For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it" (9:24). Jesus promises to bless our sacrifice. He promises right then and there that those who truly follow him will be saved, foreshadowing the work he was about to do on the cross. And we get to see glimpses of that beginning to take root and come to fruition even in this life now.
Fundraising is a difficult and essential part of my job. It takes up a great deal of my thoughts and energy. It helps our ministry to grow and to make more people aware of the needs our children at Beautiful Gate have. For me, though, that's not the fruit. For me, the fruit is being able to spend hands on time with my kids. I get to see them grow. I get to see them learn. I get to see them love. I get to see them have the blessing of just being a kid. And I get to see them become part of a forever family. That alone is worth a thousand years of a fundraising. Though fundraising is certainly not my favorite part of my job, it's not without benefit and purpose. Being able to take part in the fruit far outweighs the hard work and anxiety of sowing the seed and waiting for it to grow.
In the end, I've sent out letters, I've given presentations, I'm planning fundraising events. I've done just about all I can think to do. I believe I have been faithful in sowing the seed, and now I have to be patient and trust that God will raise a crop that can be harvested. If you're reading this I pray that you would take a moment, listen to the Holy Spirit, and consider if you might be able to support the work God is calling me to at Beautiful Gate. As always, prayer is the most necessary form of support. However, as I mentioned earlier, I still need 50% of my budget for this year alone. Would you consider contributing toward that amount. I'm also hoping to find someone (or a few someones) who, at the end of each year, would be willing to see the gap I have in my funding and say I or we can take care of that. If God has blessed you with the means to do it, I pray you might consider being a huge part in my ministry and a huge blessing to the Beautiful Gate community. If you decide you do want to join me prayerfully or financially, both my contact and donation information can be found in the right hand sidebar of my blog page.
Thank you to all those who have already come alongside me to help make this ministry a reality. And thank you in advance to those who will.
Friday, December 11, 2015
The Other Side Of The Mission Field
Recently a fellow missionary friend of mine shared a blog post she found with me. It's titled "10 Things Your Missionary Will Not Tell You," written by Joe Holman, a missionary in Bolivia (read it yourself here: http://joe-holman.blogspot.com/2014/08/ten-things-that-your-missionary-will.html?m=1). Joe expresses many of the frustrations that accompany the joys and blessings of being a missionary. He doesn't whine and complain, but tactfully shares many of the "behind the scenes" sort of things that come with the territory of mission work. I won't say all his words are true for every missionary in every circumstance. If you read through the comments after the post, though, you'll see that he strikes a cord in the hearts of many in the missionary community. I myself couldn't help relating to each of his points to one degree or another. The truth about being a missionary is the same truth for every job, career, or calling out there. It's the same truth for being human. The truth is it's not always pretty or fun or glamorous. Oftentimes it's lonely, frustrating, exhausting, and it can leave you feeling like you're on empty, like you've got nothing left to offer. Joe's right when he writes his post. These are the things we, as missionaries, don't want to share with everyone else. Just like teachers, pastors, nurses, business men/women, we want to appear like we have things under control (especially when we feel like much of our financial support depends on it). The truth, though, is that we're human too. We need the Lord's help just as much as anyone else, even when we know beyond a shadow of a doubt we are doing the work He has called us to do. And the truth is it's silly for us to try and hide these parts of our lives. Instead of hiding behind fake facades and pretending we're thriving when we're really just scraping by, how much more beneficial would it be to share the reality of our situations and come together to support one another as the body of Christ, as the Church? My hope and prayer is that Joe's blog, and other resources like his, will encourage us missionaries to be more transparent about all the aspects of our ministries with those who are supporting us. And I hope it will provide our supporters and donors with more meaningful ways to understand our situations and, therein, be able to support us even better and more holistically than they already do.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
And We're Back
Wow! Time sure flies when you're having fun! And when you're surrounded by 70+ amazing children on a daily basis. And when all of your mothers are constantly making sure you're taken care of. And when you're watching Chuck into the wee hours of the morning with your best friend and his wife. And when you're abseiling down a 670 foot waterfall. And when you're holding a lion cub. And when you're sitting in the mall listening to a lecture for your online class. And when you're on your knees in prayer at the end of your rope. Time sure flies when you're living life.
I can't believe how fast this last year went. I can still vividly remember getting off the plane in Lesotho last September. I can still remember the details of my first day on campus at Beautiful Gate. Now it seems as if I've blinked and my yearlong commitment is done and over. Now I've already been back in the States for a week and it's time to reflect on that just a little bit.
I think it's important that I begin by saying that my last week being home (well at least home on this side of the ocean) has been really good. No one was expecting me back until next week, so it's been so fun to surprise my family and friends. It's such a blessing to be reminded of how many people love me and how many people have been supporting me throughout my year at Beautiful Gate. I was worried I'd find life back in the States to be really overwhelming, but so far it hasn't been too bad (okay, there was the anxiety inducing experience of going into the Apple store, but let's be real, that place is overwhelming all the time). For the most part, though, readjusting hasn't been too difficult.
The one major readjustment I've definitely noticed, however, is trying to keep up with the pace of life here in the States. In Lesotho life is slow. There's really no other way of putting it. Sometimes that can be frustrating from an efficiency point of view, especially being American. In general, though, I loved being able to dial it back and experience life at a more leisurely pace. When I wasn't going at full speed all the time trying to accomplish the maximum amount I could in a day I began to notice and appreciate the little things God does for me on a daily basis. When I wasn't always thinking ten steps ahead I was able to fully enjoy each present moment. It was as if I'd gotten off the highway and was driving through a residential area. Now that I'm back in Michigan, though, it feels like I've gotten back on the highway. I've hardly sat still since I returned. There's always people to see or something that could get done. I've got meetings and presentations and deadlines that need to be met. So, though I wouldn't say I've been feeling overwhelmed, I would definitely say I feel exhausted.
Overall, being back is good. I missed my family. I missed my friends. I missed the variety and options living here offers. I missed free refills of water at restaurants. It truly is good to be home. But at the same time I miss home too. I miss my kids. I miss my mothers. I miss my Africa family. I miss the peace and calm and worry-free environment. And that's the biggest readjustment, really; knowing I'm not fully readjusting to life in the States. The real challenge now is learning how to live when my heart is in two places. The next four months will be challenging and beautiful and exciting and difficult. I have to figure out how the Basotho Tyler fits in the context of American life and when I go back to Lesotho I'll have to rediscover how American Tyler fits in the context of Basotho life. As I reflect on this last year and look forward to new adventures I think to myself that this definitely isn't the life I would've chosen for myself. It's tough and scary and unknown. But it's the life God has called me to so I know it will also be exhilarating and rewarding and fulfilling. And when I remember that the hard parts don't seem so hard after all. When I remember who brought me to this place and who called me to this life I know I wouldn't change a thing.
I can't believe how fast this last year went. I can still vividly remember getting off the plane in Lesotho last September. I can still remember the details of my first day on campus at Beautiful Gate. Now it seems as if I've blinked and my yearlong commitment is done and over. Now I've already been back in the States for a week and it's time to reflect on that just a little bit.
I think it's important that I begin by saying that my last week being home (well at least home on this side of the ocean) has been really good. No one was expecting me back until next week, so it's been so fun to surprise my family and friends. It's such a blessing to be reminded of how many people love me and how many people have been supporting me throughout my year at Beautiful Gate. I was worried I'd find life back in the States to be really overwhelming, but so far it hasn't been too bad (okay, there was the anxiety inducing experience of going into the Apple store, but let's be real, that place is overwhelming all the time). For the most part, though, readjusting hasn't been too difficult.
The one major readjustment I've definitely noticed, however, is trying to keep up with the pace of life here in the States. In Lesotho life is slow. There's really no other way of putting it. Sometimes that can be frustrating from an efficiency point of view, especially being American. In general, though, I loved being able to dial it back and experience life at a more leisurely pace. When I wasn't going at full speed all the time trying to accomplish the maximum amount I could in a day I began to notice and appreciate the little things God does for me on a daily basis. When I wasn't always thinking ten steps ahead I was able to fully enjoy each present moment. It was as if I'd gotten off the highway and was driving through a residential area. Now that I'm back in Michigan, though, it feels like I've gotten back on the highway. I've hardly sat still since I returned. There's always people to see or something that could get done. I've got meetings and presentations and deadlines that need to be met. So, though I wouldn't say I've been feeling overwhelmed, I would definitely say I feel exhausted.
Overall, being back is good. I missed my family. I missed my friends. I missed the variety and options living here offers. I missed free refills of water at restaurants. It truly is good to be home. But at the same time I miss home too. I miss my kids. I miss my mothers. I miss my Africa family. I miss the peace and calm and worry-free environment. And that's the biggest readjustment, really; knowing I'm not fully readjusting to life in the States. The real challenge now is learning how to live when my heart is in two places. The next four months will be challenging and beautiful and exciting and difficult. I have to figure out how the Basotho Tyler fits in the context of American life and when I go back to Lesotho I'll have to rediscover how American Tyler fits in the context of Basotho life. As I reflect on this last year and look forward to new adventures I think to myself that this definitely isn't the life I would've chosen for myself. It's tough and scary and unknown. But it's the life God has called me to so I know it will also be exhilarating and rewarding and fulfilling. And when I remember that the hard parts don't seem so hard after all. When I remember who brought me to this place and who called me to this life I know I wouldn't change a thing.
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Seasons Change
Just a few weeks ago I spent the days bundled in several layers of clothes trying to keep warm in the winter cold. I slept with blanket upon blanket upon blanket. I held Beautiful Gate children close to me during play time just to share some of their warmth. Now, seemingly without warning, the cold season is waning. Back home in Michigan I get a visual clue that winter is leading into spring while the snow slowly melts. Here in Lesotho, though, it just kind of happens. I'm putting fewer layers on in the morning and at night. By midday the sun is high and it might as well be summer. Though I know the seasons inevitably change, it never ceases to remind me of God's faithfulness. When the heat of summer starts to feel like it's becoming unbearable the Lord, in His providence, gives us a reprieve in autumn and winter. And then, after the break, once we begin wishing for that warmth to return, He allows it to. How good He is to us, especially in the little things that we take for granted so often.
But it's not just seasons of weather that God keeps in His perfect control. He is faithful and active and present in the changing seasons of our lives. This is a blessing I've been experiencing very clearly over the past few months. As I'm only about a month away from completing my one year commitment at Beautiful Gate (yeah, I don't believe it either) a lot of people have been asking me what is next. When I was planning to come to Beautiful Gate people told me to be careful because Africa gets in your blood; it becomes part of who you are. They were right. For many months now I've felt quite certain that my time at BG wasn't going to be limited to this one year stint. Why? In short, Africa has become part of me. More specifically Beautiful Gate has become my family. The children here have crawled into spaces of my heart I didn't even know were vacant. I think David Platt says it best in his book Radical: "[O]rphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes." A year ago I didn't know I had a heart for Africa or Lesotho or orphans because I didn't know Amohelong, Potlako, Thato, Karabelo, Relebohile, or the 68 other kids I get to love and do life with every day. Now that I do, everything is different. I can't un-know what I know now. I can't un-see what I've seen. I can't un-feel what I've felt and what I feel. Before it was easy to ignore because I didn't know. But now I know. So what's next?
Well, as I said, for a while now I've felt in my heart that my journey with Beautiful Gate won't be finished come September. The problem was I didn't know what the next season was going to look like. That makes it difficult to answer the "what's next?" question. A few months ago, however, I was approached with an opportunity both excited me and reassured me just how intimately God is involved in the seasons of our lives. Now, after a few months of preparation, prayer, and making things official I'm able and eager to share what God has laid before me for the next season of life. Beginning next year I will begin a year-long transition into being the North American Ambassador for Beautiful Gate Lesotho. In short, this position requires that I spend six months of the year fundraising for BG in the U.S. and Canada and six months hosting teams and serving at BG in Lesotho. I will spend the next year training with the current Ambassador as she transitions into what God has planned for her next. After that I will spend the next few years serving the BG community and sharing my passion for BG with my own communities in North America. I couldn't be more excited about this opportunity! God knows the plans He has for me and I'm so grateful for the blessings He's placing in my life.
As I look forward to what God has planned I can't help but also reflect on what He's done in this past year. One of the greatest and most evident ways I say His hand at work has been through all the people He's placed in my life who have supported me on this journey. To all of you I want to say thank you with all my heart. Whether it be through prayer or finances or words of encouragement, God has used you in a big way to help make this possible for me. Thank you for helping change my life for the better. I have no doubt that God will continue to place incredible people in my life to help support me in the season to come.
As I look forward to that time I ask that you might join me in prayer now with these requests:
- Pray for Beautiful Gate. Pray for the children, the staff, and the volunteers. Pray that God will continue to support and sustain this place as long as it needs to be here.
- Pray for me in my last month or so of my commitment. Pray that I remain present in the work God has called me to this year. May I finish this chapter well even as I anticipate the excitement of the next.
-Pray for my transition into the North American Ambassador position. Pray that God may equip me even in my weakness for the work He is calling me to. Pray that I will receive the support I need to be able to do that work. Pray for me as I begin fundraising again when I return home in September. Boldly I ask that you might prayerfully consider financially supporting me if you are able.
-Pray that as I seek God's face and aim to do His will that I will be protected from the attacks of the evil one. Pray that I will be able to resist his tricks and temptations. Pray that I will remain on the path of righteousness, being salt and light in all that God calls me to do.
Thank you again for your support. Even reading this blog and informing yourself about the things God is doing in this place is a way of support. I appreciate it. I pray you will continue to walk this journey with me. I look forward to continue sharing with you the ways in which God is working in my life and the lives of all of us at Beautiful Gate.
But it's not just seasons of weather that God keeps in His perfect control. He is faithful and active and present in the changing seasons of our lives. This is a blessing I've been experiencing very clearly over the past few months. As I'm only about a month away from completing my one year commitment at Beautiful Gate (yeah, I don't believe it either) a lot of people have been asking me what is next. When I was planning to come to Beautiful Gate people told me to be careful because Africa gets in your blood; it becomes part of who you are. They were right. For many months now I've felt quite certain that my time at BG wasn't going to be limited to this one year stint. Why? In short, Africa has become part of me. More specifically Beautiful Gate has become my family. The children here have crawled into spaces of my heart I didn't even know were vacant. I think David Platt says it best in his book Radical: "[O]rphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes." A year ago I didn't know I had a heart for Africa or Lesotho or orphans because I didn't know Amohelong, Potlako, Thato, Karabelo, Relebohile, or the 68 other kids I get to love and do life with every day. Now that I do, everything is different. I can't un-know what I know now. I can't un-see what I've seen. I can't un-feel what I've felt and what I feel. Before it was easy to ignore because I didn't know. But now I know. So what's next?
Well, as I said, for a while now I've felt in my heart that my journey with Beautiful Gate won't be finished come September. The problem was I didn't know what the next season was going to look like. That makes it difficult to answer the "what's next?" question. A few months ago, however, I was approached with an opportunity both excited me and reassured me just how intimately God is involved in the seasons of our lives. Now, after a few months of preparation, prayer, and making things official I'm able and eager to share what God has laid before me for the next season of life. Beginning next year I will begin a year-long transition into being the North American Ambassador for Beautiful Gate Lesotho. In short, this position requires that I spend six months of the year fundraising for BG in the U.S. and Canada and six months hosting teams and serving at BG in Lesotho. I will spend the next year training with the current Ambassador as she transitions into what God has planned for her next. After that I will spend the next few years serving the BG community and sharing my passion for BG with my own communities in North America. I couldn't be more excited about this opportunity! God knows the plans He has for me and I'm so grateful for the blessings He's placing in my life.
As I look forward to what God has planned I can't help but also reflect on what He's done in this past year. One of the greatest and most evident ways I say His hand at work has been through all the people He's placed in my life who have supported me on this journey. To all of you I want to say thank you with all my heart. Whether it be through prayer or finances or words of encouragement, God has used you in a big way to help make this possible for me. Thank you for helping change my life for the better. I have no doubt that God will continue to place incredible people in my life to help support me in the season to come.
As I look forward to that time I ask that you might join me in prayer now with these requests:
- Pray for Beautiful Gate. Pray for the children, the staff, and the volunteers. Pray that God will continue to support and sustain this place as long as it needs to be here.
- Pray for me in my last month or so of my commitment. Pray that I remain present in the work God has called me to this year. May I finish this chapter well even as I anticipate the excitement of the next.
-Pray for my transition into the North American Ambassador position. Pray that God may equip me even in my weakness for the work He is calling me to. Pray that I will receive the support I need to be able to do that work. Pray for me as I begin fundraising again when I return home in September. Boldly I ask that you might prayerfully consider financially supporting me if you are able.
-Pray that as I seek God's face and aim to do His will that I will be protected from the attacks of the evil one. Pray that I will be able to resist his tricks and temptations. Pray that I will remain on the path of righteousness, being salt and light in all that God calls me to do.
Thank you again for your support. Even reading this blog and informing yourself about the things God is doing in this place is a way of support. I appreciate it. I pray you will continue to walk this journey with me. I look forward to continue sharing with you the ways in which God is working in my life and the lives of all of us at Beautiful Gate.
Saturday, June 27, 2015
Wintertime
One of the strangest adjustments coming to Lesotho has been the seasons being opposite. As I write this it's nearly July and I'm sitting on a heated blanket, under two other blankets, with sweatpants and a sweatshirt on. I sometimes still have to remind myself I'm on the other side of the equator. As I shiver I sometimes sing to myself, "It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas..." only to remember that's another six months away yet. For 22 years winter meant Thanksgiving and Christmas and all of a sudden now it means school is letting out for the year. It's a silly and mundane little thing, but it's still strange sometimes.
One thing winter has brought that is less silly or mundane, however, is more children to Beautiful Gate. I was told that we tend to receive more kids during the winter months, but that was made evident to me this month. Within about a 10 day span we welcomed six new children into the BG family, most of them infants. Many of their stories are sad. Some were found abandoned next to a dam or found by shepherds in a field. Some were left in the cold wearing nothing (yes, this is Africa, but for those who don't know it's below freezing at night during the winter season). We believe one was even found just hours after birth because part of the umbilical cord was still attached and recently cut. I don't know the situations of these children's mothers, fathers, or families. I try not to hold judgment in my heart. But the questions still remain: How can you abandon your child? How can you leave him lying naked in the cold? How can you just throw her away? It's something I'll never fully understand. It's why I'm grateful God is in control. It's why I'm thankful He brought these beautiful children, made in His image, to us. Here they will be cared for. Here they will be loved.
Two of the new kids have ended up in my baby house and they are absolutely beautiful. I already love them as much as I love the rest of my kids. One of them is a little girl who was born premature. At 30 days old she only weighed about 4 pounds. She's the smallest little person I've ever seen, let alone held in my arms. The other child is a boy who we received at about 10 days old. It's clear that he was probably a full term baby because at 10 days old he was already more than twice the size of my other new baby. Despite the circumstances they were found in they are both healthy. They both get fed three times a day. They both have clothes on their backs (and a lot of them too; the Basotho love layers...). They both have beds to sleep in at night. They both have dozens of hands to hold them and make them feel loved.
Aspects of life in Lesotho can be discouraging. It's true of any place, really. The high rate of abandonment versus the slow rate of adoption is enough to drive anyone crazy, especially those who know the kids personally. It can be infuriating and oftentimes it feels like Africa won the day. But then I'm reminded it's what I came here for. Not to solve all the issues (as if I could), but to love those who are here. To be light, to be love, to be Jesus to those who God puts in my life. I'm also reminded of the light Beautiful Gate is to our community. Yes, many of our kids have beginnings that rip our hearts apart, but because of BG the rest of their stories can be ones of grace, mercy, love, acceptance, and victory! It's proof that God can make anything beautiful.
One thing winter has brought that is less silly or mundane, however, is more children to Beautiful Gate. I was told that we tend to receive more kids during the winter months, but that was made evident to me this month. Within about a 10 day span we welcomed six new children into the BG family, most of them infants. Many of their stories are sad. Some were found abandoned next to a dam or found by shepherds in a field. Some were left in the cold wearing nothing (yes, this is Africa, but for those who don't know it's below freezing at night during the winter season). We believe one was even found just hours after birth because part of the umbilical cord was still attached and recently cut. I don't know the situations of these children's mothers, fathers, or families. I try not to hold judgment in my heart. But the questions still remain: How can you abandon your child? How can you leave him lying naked in the cold? How can you just throw her away? It's something I'll never fully understand. It's why I'm grateful God is in control. It's why I'm thankful He brought these beautiful children, made in His image, to us. Here they will be cared for. Here they will be loved.
Two of the new kids have ended up in my baby house and they are absolutely beautiful. I already love them as much as I love the rest of my kids. One of them is a little girl who was born premature. At 30 days old she only weighed about 4 pounds. She's the smallest little person I've ever seen, let alone held in my arms. The other child is a boy who we received at about 10 days old. It's clear that he was probably a full term baby because at 10 days old he was already more than twice the size of my other new baby. Despite the circumstances they were found in they are both healthy. They both get fed three times a day. They both have clothes on their backs (and a lot of them too; the Basotho love layers...). They both have beds to sleep in at night. They both have dozens of hands to hold them and make them feel loved.
Aspects of life in Lesotho can be discouraging. It's true of any place, really. The high rate of abandonment versus the slow rate of adoption is enough to drive anyone crazy, especially those who know the kids personally. It can be infuriating and oftentimes it feels like Africa won the day. But then I'm reminded it's what I came here for. Not to solve all the issues (as if I could), but to love those who are here. To be light, to be love, to be Jesus to those who God puts in my life. I'm also reminded of the light Beautiful Gate is to our community. Yes, many of our kids have beginnings that rip our hearts apart, but because of BG the rest of their stories can be ones of grace, mercy, love, acceptance, and victory! It's proof that God can make anything beautiful.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Hard Questions
Why did she leave me? Why don't they come back for me? When is it my turn to have a family? These are some of the questions I see behind the eyes of a few of our older kids here at Beautiful Gate from time to time. I notice it most when we celebrate an adoption or a reunification. Those are the times we treasure most, but it's difficult to leave the party and look into the eyes of a six-year-old who just witnessed another one of his friends welcomed into a family, knowing he still has to stay here. Oftentimes when we think of orphans we think of adjectives like poor, underprivileged, or sad. While those are sometimes accurate descriptions I'm grateful that my time at BG has shown me that they can also be described as happy, fun, energetic, mischievous, hilarious, and joyful. In all the descriptions, though, one thing they most definitely are not is stupid. Some of our older kids at BG (I'm talking 5-6 years old), many of whom have been here most of their lives, have figured out that when a child leaves campus on a certain day it means they're getting their passport picture taken and then it is only a short matter of time until their family arrives to take them home. They are unbelievably perceptive. Knowing they can figure that out, then, I'm led to wonder if they ever think about having been abandoned and, if so, how often.
This has been on my mind lately because of a recent situation involving one of our five-year-old girls. A small number of our BG kids are here because a parent is in prison. When an individual is considered rehabilitated and is released from a correctional facility in Lesotho, the government may grant her the right to be reunited with her child. The five-year-old girl I mentioned is one of the kids in this circumstance. She's totally a spitfire personality. She's the oldest girl in her house here on campus and she knows it. She can be bossy and preppy and really really naughty, but she's also incredibly sweet, nurturing, and she just wants so desperately to be loved. And in her case it's evident she wants to be loved by her mom. She knows who her mom is and has even been to visit her in prison a few times. She'll often say she's going home with her mom soon, though we've never given her any reason to believe that. However, a couple weeks ago we got word that her mother was being released from the correctional facility and the government had given her permission to pick her daughter up from BG. It's hard to know how to feel when a child you've invested time, energy, and love in is going to be given back to a parent that wasn't present in her life because she'd been in prison. But it's not our decision to make. So we trust in God's plan and pray that He'll take care of her. There was a problem, though. This sweet little girl's mother never showed up. She still hasn't as I'm writing this. She knows her daughter is here. They'd spent time together when we took her to visit. She showed every sign of loving this girl. But she hasn't come to get her. So, our precious girl is still here. Still hoping for a family. Still hoping for her mom.
I'm trying not to be too cynical about the whole situation. After all, I don't know the whole story. I don't know this girl's mom. I don't know if she's capable of taking care of her daughter. Maybe she decided her girl has a better chance at a future if she doesn't come to get her. I don't know. This is what I do know. Our girl is safe here. She's warm here (at least as warm as she can be in the middle of winter). She's fed here. She's clothed here. She's loved here. She has a place to belong here. We're not going to abandon her. Though we aren't her mom we are her family for the time being. And most importantly, no matter what happens, she belongs to God. She's His precious creation. He has a plan for her and it's to prosper her and not to harm her. That gives me hope in these seemingly hopeless situations.
Abba Daddy,
I don't claim to know all Your plans. I don't want to label something a good or bad situation from my own understanding. I know that You can do beautiful things from the most broken circumstances. In our weaknesses You are made strong. So, though I don't know all Your plans, I do know that You are good. You are in control. You are love. Thank you for being our Father whether we have one on earth or not. Thank you for adopting us if and when we have been abandoned. To You alone be all praise, glory, and honor!
Amen
This has been on my mind lately because of a recent situation involving one of our five-year-old girls. A small number of our BG kids are here because a parent is in prison. When an individual is considered rehabilitated and is released from a correctional facility in Lesotho, the government may grant her the right to be reunited with her child. The five-year-old girl I mentioned is one of the kids in this circumstance. She's totally a spitfire personality. She's the oldest girl in her house here on campus and she knows it. She can be bossy and preppy and really really naughty, but she's also incredibly sweet, nurturing, and she just wants so desperately to be loved. And in her case it's evident she wants to be loved by her mom. She knows who her mom is and has even been to visit her in prison a few times. She'll often say she's going home with her mom soon, though we've never given her any reason to believe that. However, a couple weeks ago we got word that her mother was being released from the correctional facility and the government had given her permission to pick her daughter up from BG. It's hard to know how to feel when a child you've invested time, energy, and love in is going to be given back to a parent that wasn't present in her life because she'd been in prison. But it's not our decision to make. So we trust in God's plan and pray that He'll take care of her. There was a problem, though. This sweet little girl's mother never showed up. She still hasn't as I'm writing this. She knows her daughter is here. They'd spent time together when we took her to visit. She showed every sign of loving this girl. But she hasn't come to get her. So, our precious girl is still here. Still hoping for a family. Still hoping for her mom.
I'm trying not to be too cynical about the whole situation. After all, I don't know the whole story. I don't know this girl's mom. I don't know if she's capable of taking care of her daughter. Maybe she decided her girl has a better chance at a future if she doesn't come to get her. I don't know. This is what I do know. Our girl is safe here. She's warm here (at least as warm as she can be in the middle of winter). She's fed here. She's clothed here. She's loved here. She has a place to belong here. We're not going to abandon her. Though we aren't her mom we are her family for the time being. And most importantly, no matter what happens, she belongs to God. She's His precious creation. He has a plan for her and it's to prosper her and not to harm her. That gives me hope in these seemingly hopeless situations.
Abba Daddy,
I don't claim to know all Your plans. I don't want to label something a good or bad situation from my own understanding. I know that You can do beautiful things from the most broken circumstances. In our weaknesses You are made strong. So, though I don't know all Your plans, I do know that You are good. You are in control. You are love. Thank you for being our Father whether we have one on earth or not. Thank you for adopting us if and when we have been abandoned. To You alone be all praise, glory, and honor!
Amen
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Teams of Encouragement
Having teams and short-term volunteers come through Beautiful Gate is always an interesting and humbling experience. As the only long-term volunteer who consistently lives in the Maroon House on campus (where we house short-term teams) I usually have the unique opportunity of getting to know the teams perhaps on a deeper level than many of our other long-term volunteers. Additionally, as someone who has had a great deal of experience in leading worship I'm often invited to participate in leading worship times and devotions for the teams while they are here. During those times we generally begin by going around the room and allowing everyone an opportunity to share their "high" for the day. While many times the "highs" are things I expect to hear from people working with orphans in southern Africa each person has a unique and personal way of sharing their experience with the group. That's one of the reasons I love living in community with the short-term teams that come through. As they experience Beautiful Gate for the first time, I'm reminded of my own first few weeks here. Through their eyes, I get to re-experience the beauty of seeing true joy, love, hope, and peace in the lives of our kids and staff members for the first time. It's always a wonderful reminder of why I'm here and it reenergizes me even when life here seems repetitive or tedious at times.
As I write this we have a team of high school girls from a Christian school in Southwest Michigan with us for 10 days. Late Wednesday night and into Thursday morning several of the girls got sick and were bed ridden (or couch ridden) for the whole of Thursday. We usually anticipate one or two people on a team coming down with something during a trip, but this was eight girls all getting hit at the same time. It was kind of crazy! All of a sudden over half of their team was forced to miss out on a day of service here at BG. This was clearly not part of the plan for their trip and it was evident that the sick girls were terribly disappointed they would not be able to see the kids that day. Despite this rather unfortunate turn of events, however, the team's blog entry for the day was entitled "God is Still Good." They honestly shared their disappointments with the situation, but at the same time rejoiced in the blessings they still saw. It was so humbling to see such a young group praise God amidst hardships, suffering, and disappointment. It was a brilliant reminder that things don't always go according to our plans. We have an enemy that tries to derail our efforts to do the good, pleasing, and perfect will of our Father. But even in the battle we have hope because our Abba Daddy has already won the war. He is in control of all things at all times.
Just as Barnabas (Son of Encouragement) was an encourager for the early church the short-term teams that come to Beautiful Gate are encouragers to us. They encourage the house mothers and staff by affirming the work they do and the sacrifices they make. They encourage us volunteers by coming alongside us and praying for and with us. They encourage the children by taking time out of their busy lives to come to a little country called Lesotho and show love to those that others have called unlovable. Each person who comes through here is a Barnabas in my life. Whether they mean to or not they redirect me to God and prove that His love and faithfulness are greater than I can ever begin to imagine. I am so grateful.
Interested in reading the 2015 Holland Christian team's blog? Check it out here:
https://hcbeautifulgatetrip2015.wordpress.com/
As I write this we have a team of high school girls from a Christian school in Southwest Michigan with us for 10 days. Late Wednesday night and into Thursday morning several of the girls got sick and were bed ridden (or couch ridden) for the whole of Thursday. We usually anticipate one or two people on a team coming down with something during a trip, but this was eight girls all getting hit at the same time. It was kind of crazy! All of a sudden over half of their team was forced to miss out on a day of service here at BG. This was clearly not part of the plan for their trip and it was evident that the sick girls were terribly disappointed they would not be able to see the kids that day. Despite this rather unfortunate turn of events, however, the team's blog entry for the day was entitled "God is Still Good." They honestly shared their disappointments with the situation, but at the same time rejoiced in the blessings they still saw. It was so humbling to see such a young group praise God amidst hardships, suffering, and disappointment. It was a brilliant reminder that things don't always go according to our plans. We have an enemy that tries to derail our efforts to do the good, pleasing, and perfect will of our Father. But even in the battle we have hope because our Abba Daddy has already won the war. He is in control of all things at all times.
Just as Barnabas (Son of Encouragement) was an encourager for the early church the short-term teams that come to Beautiful Gate are encouragers to us. They encourage the house mothers and staff by affirming the work they do and the sacrifices they make. They encourage us volunteers by coming alongside us and praying for and with us. They encourage the children by taking time out of their busy lives to come to a little country called Lesotho and show love to those that others have called unlovable. Each person who comes through here is a Barnabas in my life. Whether they mean to or not they redirect me to God and prove that His love and faithfulness are greater than I can ever begin to imagine. I am so grateful.
Interested in reading the 2015 Holland Christian team's blog? Check it out here:
https://hcbeautifulgatetrip2015.wordpress.com/
Friday, June 12, 2015
Surprise Surprise
A few weeks ago I experienced one of the greatest surprises of my life. It started like most any other Tuesday here at Beautiful Gate. I went to the local missionary school and taught chapel in the morning and when I returned I began preparing slides for a worship night we would be having that evening. I was a little stressed because we were expecting the arrival of a family who would be serving at BG for the next week and a half and, being the perfectionist that I tend to be, I wanted to make sure everything was ready for them before they arrived. Right in the middle of my worship preparations something came up, though. Bryan came into the Maroon House and told me the family had more luggage than we expected and the car that had been sent to pick them wouldn't be able to bring them and all their luggage back. He asked if I'd be willing to go along with him to help. I quickly agreed, assuming I'd have time in the afternoon to finish the slides, and jumped in the truck with him. We headed to the airport. About 15 minutes later we entered the airport and there in front of me stood the "Hartman" family who we were supposed to pick up. However, I quickly realized I was target of an intricate plot that had been going on for the past six months. The family standing in front of me was not the Hartman family I had willingly agreed to help collect from the airport. Instead my own family stood there with cheeky "Surprise, we got you!" looks on their faces! Inwardly, I was overjoyed. Outwardly, though, I was only able to turn to Bryan and jokingly tell him I hated him for keeping this a secret. I'm still dumbfounded at how many people were able to keep it a secret for six months! I give props to everyone involved because I was seriously and genuinely surprised! I never imagined that my family would be able to find the time or the funds to travel half-way around the globe to visit me and see what I'm doing in Lesotho.
The next 10 days went too fast, but they were wonderful. I got to share my experience at Beautiful Gate with my dad, mom, sister, and grandma. They were able to see where I live. They met the staff and the children I work with. They laughed and played with them and discovered just how easy it is to fall in love with them. They got to see the city, experience my driving (which is always an adventure in Maseru), worship in our church, hold baby lions, and live the life I've been living every day for the past nine months. Toward the end of their visit we were even able to go on a safari in South Africa! Suddenly and finally they were able to understand everything I've been telling them about since I left in a way they couldn't before. They were able to see first hand the experience I've had and can fully understand and appreciate how and why it's changed me. They were able to be changed themselves. Despite all the changes, though, I was pleasantly surprised to see just how quickly we were able to fall back into old familial habits and tendencies. In our free time we'd just sit and talk. At dinner we'd make ridiculous jokes that had no place at the dinner table. Jessi and I found we were still able to annoy one another fairly easily. Grandma is still able to talk to anyone and everyone about anything (even if they are semi-embarrassing stories from my childhood). Despite time and distance and change my family was and is still my family.
When it came time to say goodbye and send them back to America I was again surprised. It wasn't the emotional, teary-eyed goodbye we'd said last September. While it was still sad to see them go they were going with a sense of peace. The unknowns in my life are now known. They know for a fact I am being taken care of here. They were able to see, touch, and feel the life God has called me to and be affirmed that He really has called me to it. Though their time here was far too short I found I was strangely excited for them to go home. Not because I was sick of having them around by any means, but because I was excited for them to be able to share our experience together with the rest of the people who are supporting me, loving me, praying for me, and advocating for me back home. I'm excited because now when I go home I have people who I can process with. I have people who have been in the trenches with me; people who have experienced to good and the bad, the fun and the difficult. I have a community who can embrace me when I don't know how to be an American in America anymore because they shared the experience with me. And I'm just so blessed that that community also happens to be my family.
The next 10 days went too fast, but they were wonderful. I got to share my experience at Beautiful Gate with my dad, mom, sister, and grandma. They were able to see where I live. They met the staff and the children I work with. They laughed and played with them and discovered just how easy it is to fall in love with them. They got to see the city, experience my driving (which is always an adventure in Maseru), worship in our church, hold baby lions, and live the life I've been living every day for the past nine months. Toward the end of their visit we were even able to go on a safari in South Africa! Suddenly and finally they were able to understand everything I've been telling them about since I left in a way they couldn't before. They were able to see first hand the experience I've had and can fully understand and appreciate how and why it's changed me. They were able to be changed themselves. Despite all the changes, though, I was pleasantly surprised to see just how quickly we were able to fall back into old familial habits and tendencies. In our free time we'd just sit and talk. At dinner we'd make ridiculous jokes that had no place at the dinner table. Jessi and I found we were still able to annoy one another fairly easily. Grandma is still able to talk to anyone and everyone about anything (even if they are semi-embarrassing stories from my childhood). Despite time and distance and change my family was and is still my family.
When it came time to say goodbye and send them back to America I was again surprised. It wasn't the emotional, teary-eyed goodbye we'd said last September. While it was still sad to see them go they were going with a sense of peace. The unknowns in my life are now known. They know for a fact I am being taken care of here. They were able to see, touch, and feel the life God has called me to and be affirmed that He really has called me to it. Though their time here was far too short I found I was strangely excited for them to go home. Not because I was sick of having them around by any means, but because I was excited for them to be able to share our experience together with the rest of the people who are supporting me, loving me, praying for me, and advocating for me back home. I'm excited because now when I go home I have people who I can process with. I have people who have been in the trenches with me; people who have experienced to good and the bad, the fun and the difficult. I have a community who can embrace me when I don't know how to be an American in America anymore because they shared the experience with me. And I'm just so blessed that that community also happens to be my family.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
I'll Give You Anything
As I continuously chew on the idea of what it really means to be a disciple of Jesus I'm consistently reminded of just how important it is to be immersed in the Word. Simply put, it's our manual for life. How can I expect to truthfully and honestly follow Christ with dignity if I'm not constantly checking myself against His Word? My thoughts, words, and actions need to be in line with what Scripture has to say in order for my life to legitimately reflect the light of Christ in the world, and when they don't, it's Scripture and the guidance of the Holy Spirit that humbles me to admit those inconsistencies and further study how to live a life as free of those mistakes as possible. I realize as I say this that it sounds much easier than it is. I'll be the first to admit that studying God's Word is neither easy nor always my first choice of what I do with my free time. Let's face it, there are many passages that are hard to grapple with (and I'm not just talking about things that seem outdated from the Old Testament or things that, from our understanding, appear contrary to a loving and merciful God). Much of what Jesus says straight up contradicts the lives many "Christians" are living today, myself included.
Some of the passages I've been trying to understand better lately (and all my life, really) are those with the "ask and you shall receive" message to them. These two passages in particular have given me a lot to think about this week:
"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
Mark 11:22-24
"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."
John 14:12-14
Wow. That's powerful stuff right there. Jesus is openly telling his disciples that not only will they be able to do the things that they've seen Jesus do, but even greater things?! He basically says, "ask me whatever you want and I'll do it for you." What more assurance do we need as Christians? Christ empowers us to do amazing things and, in those times we're not feeling so "powerful," He says we can ask Him and He'll do them for us. That's the truth of the Scripture. That's why we're able to say we can do all things through Christ Jesus who gives us strength. And yet, I think most of us would hesitate here. Yes, this is what God's Word says and, yes, we believe it, but most, if not all, of us have never cast a mountain into the sea. In fact, most of us have probably never even tried to. It seems so out of the realm of possibility. But here it is! Jesus says we can do it and if we're Christians we believe in Jesus and what He says, right? As with most things in life, I think there's more at work here, though. Let's look at the passages one at a time.
Starting with the Mark passage, I think (at least in my own life) people often get caught up in the visual Jesus uses. In fact, when I hear this verse quoted it's generally done like this: "Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' it will be done for them." It certainly sounds like the passage above. It's the main gist at least, right? Wrong. I think this is a prime example of how easily we can distort the Truth of Scripture, even when we don't intend to. People today are boggled at the thought of having the power to throw the mountain in the sea. Either we are in awe at the thought of being able to do it, or we assume it can't really be done. In either case we get caught up in the visual and tend to stop there. But the most important parts of the passage are before and after the mountain and the sea. Jesus begins, "Have faith in God," and after the visual He says, "and [anyone who] does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen..." The main point of this passage isn't about being able to do astounding things. Truthfully, I don't think it really has anything to do with that. The main point in this passage is trusting and having faith in God. It's about believing in the deepest recesses of our beings that God is, without a doubt, exactly who He says He is and He will do exactly what He says he will. But what about the last verse? I think it's only when we grasp the kind of trust in God Jesus is talking about here that the last verse really makes sense. Only when we truly, without a doubt trust God will we be able to believe we have received whatever we pray for as we pray for it. When we read this passage and pray and don't receive what we pray for I think it says more about our belief than it does about God's power to deliver. Do we sincerely believe with every fiber of our being that God can and will take care of us better than we can? We say we do, but the fact that we worry and plan and try to safeguard our lives tells a different story. I think if we truly, fully, and honestly trusted God with all that we are our lives would look a lot different. Now let me make one thing clear. I am not for a second saying that the only reason prayer "isn't answered" is because we don't believe "hard enough." I think that's a terrible misconception that can seriously damage a person's ability to walk in faith. In fact, I don't think there are prayers that go unanswered. On the contrary, I think our prayers are more often than not answered in ways that we don't necessarily want or expect and we just assume that means they aren't answered at all. Belief is only part of the equation here. Praying into God's will is the other major aspect and I think the John passage addresses this well.
I think this John passage has the ability to instill a lot of doubt into our lives if we misinterpret it (and I think we misinterpret it a lot). Just like we get caught up in the mountain and sea image from the Mark passage I think many people get stuck on the last line of the John passage. "You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." Hot dang! See how easily this could be skewed? A misinterpretation of this verse alone pretty much sums up where we get the prosperity gospel from. On it's own this one verse really does make it seem like Jesus is a glorified magician. "Ask me whatever you want and I will grant it for you." But, as a Bible teacher at Holland Christian High School often says, "A text without a context is a pretext for trouble." If we single out this one verse we are bound to be led astray. Up until this point, Jesus has been teaching the disciples, showing them miracles, and living life with them in order to help them understand who He is and believe He is who He says He is. Everything Jesus says and does is purposefully meant to point people back to the Father. So it should come as no surprise that immediately before Jesus promises to do whatever we pray in His name He says, "I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son." Jesus is the Son of God and all that He thinks, says, and does is for the purpose of glorifying His Father. So then, what does that mean when we pray for things in Jesus' name and they don't happen the way we ask them to? Now I know this is a stretch seeming as humanity tends to be so perfect all the time (that's sarcasm, by the way), but perhaps what we ask for in prayer doesn't always glorify God or, at most, doesn't glorify Him to the extent it could or should. And honestly, how could it? We are broken, sinful, corrupt human beings. Our natural tendencies are to lean toward that which preserves us and what makes us comfortable. Even prayers that seem selfless can be selfish when we step outside our own understanding of how the world works. When we pray for healing for a loved one suffering from cancer and we are answered with that person's death, it's easy for us to assume God ignored our prayer, but perhaps we just don't fully understand how perfectly God did answer that prayer. Not only is that person no longer suffering from an incurable disease anymore, but they have been healed in a way none of us on earth have ever or will ever experience until Jesus returns. "Tyler, are you saying that my loved one's death was more glorifying to God than them being healed here on earth?" Yes, maybe. I won't for a second claim to fully grasp or understand how or why God does what He does the way He does it. But I will suggest maybe, just maybe, God's ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We can't begin to fathom the ripple effect a single event can have in this world the way God does. God sees the end that we do not and the best we can do is trust that whatever happens happens so that the Father is glorified in the best way possible. I don't think that means we shouldn't pray for healing or deliverance from sinful habits or whatever we think the best outcome is for a given situation. We don't know God's will to the full extent. As long as we're not blatantly defying God's will as we understand it in our prayers I think God encourages us to pray for what we think is best and most glorifying to Him. We just need to be prepared that we will be wrong sometimes because we are not God. So, when we ask for things in Jesus' name, we need to humbly and honestly ask ourselves if we're asking out of selfish ambitions or if we're asking for the sake of the Father's name being glorified. When we fully trust in God to be who He says He is and we actively seek to pray into His will amazing things can and do happen.
Let me leave you with a recent example from here at Beautiful Gate. Last week we all witnessed a miracle. There are a few special needs children at BG and, ever since I've been here, there has been one child who has had a feeding tube. She was completely unable to swallow any solid food and she completely relied on the tube for all her nourishment. It was an uncomfortable situation for her, made evident in the fact that she often ripped the tube out if left unattended for more than a minute. Over the last month, though, she's made incredible progress. She's learned to swallow solid foods and is a lot physically stronger in most parts of her body. Before long her tube was essentially obsolete as she was eating all her food orally. So, last week many of us, as a staff and team of volunteers, began fasting and praying on her behalf, asking God to complete the healing He'd already obviously begun in her. We prayed that at her next appointment she could have the tube removed once and for all. On Monday afternoon she returned from the appointment and all of us were ecstatic to see her beautiful face in all it's glory - without a feeding tube! God is good. He is faithful. He hears our prayers. Every day I'm learning more and more to trust that He is exactly who He says He is. As I allow my will to be conformed to His I'm finding that my eyes are being opened to see the miraculous in both the mundane and the extraordinary. I will never fully understand God's ways, but I know, without a doubt, that I can pray for my Father's will to be done, on earth as it is in heaven, and it will be.
Some of the passages I've been trying to understand better lately (and all my life, really) are those with the "ask and you shall receive" message to them. These two passages in particular have given me a lot to think about this week:
"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
Mark 11:22-24
"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."
John 14:12-14
Wow. That's powerful stuff right there. Jesus is openly telling his disciples that not only will they be able to do the things that they've seen Jesus do, but even greater things?! He basically says, "ask me whatever you want and I'll do it for you." What more assurance do we need as Christians? Christ empowers us to do amazing things and, in those times we're not feeling so "powerful," He says we can ask Him and He'll do them for us. That's the truth of the Scripture. That's why we're able to say we can do all things through Christ Jesus who gives us strength. And yet, I think most of us would hesitate here. Yes, this is what God's Word says and, yes, we believe it, but most, if not all, of us have never cast a mountain into the sea. In fact, most of us have probably never even tried to. It seems so out of the realm of possibility. But here it is! Jesus says we can do it and if we're Christians we believe in Jesus and what He says, right? As with most things in life, I think there's more at work here, though. Let's look at the passages one at a time.
Starting with the Mark passage, I think (at least in my own life) people often get caught up in the visual Jesus uses. In fact, when I hear this verse quoted it's generally done like this: "Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' it will be done for them." It certainly sounds like the passage above. It's the main gist at least, right? Wrong. I think this is a prime example of how easily we can distort the Truth of Scripture, even when we don't intend to. People today are boggled at the thought of having the power to throw the mountain in the sea. Either we are in awe at the thought of being able to do it, or we assume it can't really be done. In either case we get caught up in the visual and tend to stop there. But the most important parts of the passage are before and after the mountain and the sea. Jesus begins, "Have faith in God," and after the visual He says, "and [anyone who] does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen..." The main point of this passage isn't about being able to do astounding things. Truthfully, I don't think it really has anything to do with that. The main point in this passage is trusting and having faith in God. It's about believing in the deepest recesses of our beings that God is, without a doubt, exactly who He says He is and He will do exactly what He says he will. But what about the last verse? I think it's only when we grasp the kind of trust in God Jesus is talking about here that the last verse really makes sense. Only when we truly, without a doubt trust God will we be able to believe we have received whatever we pray for as we pray for it. When we read this passage and pray and don't receive what we pray for I think it says more about our belief than it does about God's power to deliver. Do we sincerely believe with every fiber of our being that God can and will take care of us better than we can? We say we do, but the fact that we worry and plan and try to safeguard our lives tells a different story. I think if we truly, fully, and honestly trusted God with all that we are our lives would look a lot different. Now let me make one thing clear. I am not for a second saying that the only reason prayer "isn't answered" is because we don't believe "hard enough." I think that's a terrible misconception that can seriously damage a person's ability to walk in faith. In fact, I don't think there are prayers that go unanswered. On the contrary, I think our prayers are more often than not answered in ways that we don't necessarily want or expect and we just assume that means they aren't answered at all. Belief is only part of the equation here. Praying into God's will is the other major aspect and I think the John passage addresses this well.
I think this John passage has the ability to instill a lot of doubt into our lives if we misinterpret it (and I think we misinterpret it a lot). Just like we get caught up in the mountain and sea image from the Mark passage I think many people get stuck on the last line of the John passage. "You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." Hot dang! See how easily this could be skewed? A misinterpretation of this verse alone pretty much sums up where we get the prosperity gospel from. On it's own this one verse really does make it seem like Jesus is a glorified magician. "Ask me whatever you want and I will grant it for you." But, as a Bible teacher at Holland Christian High School often says, "A text without a context is a pretext for trouble." If we single out this one verse we are bound to be led astray. Up until this point, Jesus has been teaching the disciples, showing them miracles, and living life with them in order to help them understand who He is and believe He is who He says He is. Everything Jesus says and does is purposefully meant to point people back to the Father. So it should come as no surprise that immediately before Jesus promises to do whatever we pray in His name He says, "I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son." Jesus is the Son of God and all that He thinks, says, and does is for the purpose of glorifying His Father. So then, what does that mean when we pray for things in Jesus' name and they don't happen the way we ask them to? Now I know this is a stretch seeming as humanity tends to be so perfect all the time (that's sarcasm, by the way), but perhaps what we ask for in prayer doesn't always glorify God or, at most, doesn't glorify Him to the extent it could or should. And honestly, how could it? We are broken, sinful, corrupt human beings. Our natural tendencies are to lean toward that which preserves us and what makes us comfortable. Even prayers that seem selfless can be selfish when we step outside our own understanding of how the world works. When we pray for healing for a loved one suffering from cancer and we are answered with that person's death, it's easy for us to assume God ignored our prayer, but perhaps we just don't fully understand how perfectly God did answer that prayer. Not only is that person no longer suffering from an incurable disease anymore, but they have been healed in a way none of us on earth have ever or will ever experience until Jesus returns. "Tyler, are you saying that my loved one's death was more glorifying to God than them being healed here on earth?" Yes, maybe. I won't for a second claim to fully grasp or understand how or why God does what He does the way He does it. But I will suggest maybe, just maybe, God's ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We can't begin to fathom the ripple effect a single event can have in this world the way God does. God sees the end that we do not and the best we can do is trust that whatever happens happens so that the Father is glorified in the best way possible. I don't think that means we shouldn't pray for healing or deliverance from sinful habits or whatever we think the best outcome is for a given situation. We don't know God's will to the full extent. As long as we're not blatantly defying God's will as we understand it in our prayers I think God encourages us to pray for what we think is best and most glorifying to Him. We just need to be prepared that we will be wrong sometimes because we are not God. So, when we ask for things in Jesus' name, we need to humbly and honestly ask ourselves if we're asking out of selfish ambitions or if we're asking for the sake of the Father's name being glorified. When we fully trust in God to be who He says He is and we actively seek to pray into His will amazing things can and do happen.
Let me leave you with a recent example from here at Beautiful Gate. Last week we all witnessed a miracle. There are a few special needs children at BG and, ever since I've been here, there has been one child who has had a feeding tube. She was completely unable to swallow any solid food and she completely relied on the tube for all her nourishment. It was an uncomfortable situation for her, made evident in the fact that she often ripped the tube out if left unattended for more than a minute. Over the last month, though, she's made incredible progress. She's learned to swallow solid foods and is a lot physically stronger in most parts of her body. Before long her tube was essentially obsolete as she was eating all her food orally. So, last week many of us, as a staff and team of volunteers, began fasting and praying on her behalf, asking God to complete the healing He'd already obviously begun in her. We prayed that at her next appointment she could have the tube removed once and for all. On Monday afternoon she returned from the appointment and all of us were ecstatic to see her beautiful face in all it's glory - without a feeding tube! God is good. He is faithful. He hears our prayers. Every day I'm learning more and more to trust that He is exactly who He says He is. As I allow my will to be conformed to His I'm finding that my eyes are being opened to see the miraculous in both the mundane and the extraordinary. I will never fully understand God's ways, but I know, without a doubt, that I can pray for my Father's will to be done, on earth as it is in heaven, and it will be.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Follow Me
Have you ever read a book that has literally changed your life? I'm not talking about a really good book that you connect with and want to keep reading over and over (I've read many of those). I'm talking about a book that, as you're reading it, the content profoundly smashes into you like a freight train and, like someone actually being hit by a freight train, legitimately and completely alters your life forever. Have you ever read something that makes you take a step back and and re-evaluate the way you've lived your whole life? Something that, after reading it, convicts you to actually change your lifestyle from that point forward. I haven't read as many of these books. In fact, at this point in my life I think I've only read two books like this, including the one I'm referring to now. But when you do, man, it's something else. It's concrete proof that the Spirit moves in and through the works of those who are faithful to reach the masses. For me, the past couple weeks have been a sort of Paul on the road to Damascus kind of experience; I feel as if something like scales have fallen from my eyes. I'd have expected it to be because of an interaction with one of the children I work with or an enlightening conversation with a poor Basotho person in the mountains who, despite having nothing that this world values, has everything that matters. But nope. It's been reading a book, and a book by an American at that. I love how God uses the mundane.
If you have ever read Follow Me by David Platt you may know exactly the kind of conviction I'm talking about. That's kind of how this all started - well the Spirit working through his writing, but you get the picture. Anyway, I'm reading through it now and IT. IS. WRECKING. ME. It's challenging the heck out of me. After chapter one I seriously had to consider whether I was a Christian or not in the biblical sense. The conclusion I came to: no, I'm not. For all my life I've allowed God to move and call me to the point of uncomfortability and then I stopped. I bought into that St. Francis of Assisi quote, "Preach the Gospel at all times and, when necessary, use words." Now don't get me wrong, everyone should be able to tell I'm a Christian simply by how I live my life; they should see Christ in me before they ever speak to me. But seriously, "if necessary use words"?! Of course using words is necessary! How can we ever expect someone who doesn't know Jesus to fully grasp how wide and deep and long His love for them is if all we do is walk around acting "Christian," whatever that means. They need to be TOLD how incredibly much God loves them. They need to be TOLD the Gospel story. And, like it or not, they need to be TOLD the cost of not embracing the Truth. (Seriously though, look in Scripture! There are tons of instances where the Spirit comes upon a person in both the Old and New Testaments. What's the first thing they do when He does? They SPEAK!)
So as I came to this revelation, I thought to myself, "How many people have I explicitly shared the Gospel story with?" You know what I realized? Zero. Zip. Nil. Notta. None. I can't think of a single instance in my life where I have sat down with someone and simply spoke the Gospel to them. In almost 23 years of calling myself a follower of Jesus I haven't followed the single most important command He gives me. Wow. That's disheartening. "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you." Shoot! I've seriously been dropping the ball here. He doesn't say settle down with people you know and love and occasionally talk about me when you happen to think about it (which is what I've been doing the last 22 years). He doesn't say go deep with a bunch of people who already know me and then stop there (also what I've been doing). He says "GO!" That's active! Nothing passive about it! "Go tell people about me! Teach them who I am! Tell them I love them! Teach them to teach others!" Needless to say, the conviction has been strong with this one as I've read this book.
So, that brought me back to thinking about life after Beautiful Gate. Seminary has always been on the plate as an option. When I realized, though, that the purpose of my life, God's will for my entire life, wasn't something that needed to be discovered, but was sitting right in front of me in the pages of Scripture for all this time, it hit me that seminary isn't so optional anymore. If I have the opportunity to better equip myself to share Jesus with the world then that's what I have to do. So yea, decision made. Exciting. But I also love Lesotho. I love the Basotho people. Part of me thinks my experience with BG has been a means to an end for God to show me my mission field. Here, in the city, most people know about Jesus. Whether they believe in Him as the Son of God and Savior of the world is another story, but they know about Him. A few hours in any direction of me are mountains. Mountains full of people who are living on the brink of poverty. Many of them who have heard little to nothing about the Truth of the Gospel. Coincidence? I think not! God used BG to bring me to Lesotho because He knew my love for these children even before I did, but I think, now, He ultimately brought me to BG in order to instill a love for all Basotho people in me. And He has. Big time. These people are my brothers and my sisters and many of them don't know the Truth. I have the Truth. And I know that without the Truth they will be sentenced to an eternity of hell. So, it makes sense for me just sit back and keep that Truth to myself, only talking about it with other Christians, right? Yea, maybe if I want to be one of those that Jesus looks at on Judgment Day and says "I never knew you." That's not what I want. That's not who I want to be. I want to stand before my Maker and Savior, be caught up in His embrace and hear Him whisper, "Well done, good and faithful servant" into my ear.
All this is to say that God has opened my eyes to see His will for my life: to be a disciple maker. To speak the Gospel to people who haven't heard it or don't understand it. To be a Truth teller. To be one of His emissaries. With that in mind my plan is to, Lord willing, extend my time at BG and in Lesotho. I'm not sure for how long yet. I also plan on going to seminary. There are a number of online programs, both MDiv and otherwise that I'm looking into. Your prayers would be appreciated throughout this time as I discern the specifics of His will for the next few steps of my life. This revelation is scary. I'll be honest, it's the scariest thing I've ever thought about. I've never been exceedingly bold, outgoing, or extroverted. But I'm scared because I'm still entrenched in the norms of this world. I still let words and phrases like "tolerance" and "Who am I to say to someone else..." dictate how I live and how I love. But I am an adopted son of the Most High. He has called me to higher things. He concludes his command to go to the nations with a promise. "Surely I am with you always to the end of the age." What comfort! I can withstand being rejected or thought of as arrogant. I can handle the awkwardness of those conversations. The Lord is on my side and He is with me in those conversations and situations. And I know I will never regret a second of it if someone's eyes are opened to the Truth of the Gospel. My mission is clear.
Exalted Father in Heaven,
Thank you for opening my eyes to the truth of the Gospel. Thank you for waking me up from my slumber. Thank you for bringing me out of my stupor. I'm so grateful for the clarity of your Word. So often we make Scripture more complicated than it needs to be because we don't want to have to be uncomfortable, we don't want to have to make others uncomfortable. But comfort is not our concern. You call us higher. I pray that you would sustain this calling in me. Do not allow me to sink back into my old ways, old habits, old tendencies. May I truly put off my old self. The old is gone and the new has come. May my life honestly reflect the Truth that to live is Christ and to die is gain. Make me into a person who would willingly die to see your Truth and your Kingdom embraced by all. Lead me and guide me each and every day. Give me strength, boldness, and a will that is your own. I love you, Abba.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
Amen
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)