Not So FUNdraising

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.
- Proverbs 3:5-6


As I ponder over this verse I realize how spot on it sums up where I find myself right now, not only as a missionary, but even more broadly as a Christian in general. I'd be lying if I said I've been reflecting on these words often since I've been home from Lesotho. In fact, it kind of just popped into my head as I sat down to write this post. Not a coincidence, I think.


Since I returned to the U.S. in September my big goal has been raising financial support to head back to Lesotho in January 2016. Most people know by now, but I'll be taking up the mantle of North American Ambassador for Beautiful Gate, and a huge part of that position is fundraising for the orphanage (on top of raising funds for my personal budget). The funny thing I've learned over the last couple of months, and something I kind of already knew beforehand, is that I don't like fundraising! I don't like asking people to donate their hard-earned money. I hate that my mind often associates a dollar amount with people now. I feel like I'm scheming and plotting to manipulate people out of their money a lot of the time. I fear people are going to start thinking everything I do with and for them is to get money. It's hard. It's uncomfortable. It is not aptly named - FUNdraising is not FUN. To add insult to injury, sometimes I don't feel like I'm even a very good fundraiser. As I write this, I'm hoping to head back to Beautiful Gate in a little over a month. Also, as I write this, I've still got less than half of one year's budget accounted for, and I'm committed for at least three years! If you had told me a year ago that one of the two major parts of my job would be asking people for money, I would have laughed and said you were nuts.


But here I am.


The craziest part about this situation, though, is not that I find myself doing something I don't particularly like. Let's be real, a lot of people do jobs they don't like. No, the crazy thing is that I wouldn't change it for the world. Despite the discomfort and the anxiety fundraising produces in me, I know this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. Never before in my life have I been so sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God has called me to do this. And that's where Proverbs comes in. As I strive to do the work God has set before me I have to trust Him and Him alone. I cannot lean on my own understanding because I simply do not understand. I don't understand why God called me down this particular path. All I know for sure is that He did. I need to constantly remember to submit all that I am and all that I have to Him. When I do this, when I'm in relationship with my Abba, when I throw caution to the wind and trust in Him to provide all I need and to catch me when I fall, He will be there. He's orchestrated this grand plan to get me where I am today, and He's blessed me with the awareness to see all the little steps it took to get me here. He hasn't failed me yet and I know that he won't.


In the Gospel of Luke, after he predicts his impending death, Jesus tells his disciples:
"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me" (9:23). I love this verse. Does that sound strange? This simple phrase seems to suggest that a life of following Christ will be extremely difficult. That's exactly why I love it, though. It reminds me that Jesus doesn't call us to a life that is easy. He doesn't call us to be comfortable. Jesus knows that it's precisely doing the hard things that push us out of our comfort zones that will cause us to grow. He knew from the beginning that following him meant his followers were going to have to sacrifice. The beautiful thing is that Jesus doesn't call us to sacrifice simply for the sake of sacrificing. He goes on to tell his disciples, "For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it" (9:24). Jesus promises to bless our sacrifice. He promises right then and there that those who truly follow him will be saved, foreshadowing the work he was about to do on the cross. And we get to see glimpses of that beginning to take root and come to fruition even in this life now.


Fundraising is a difficult and essential part of my job. It takes up a great deal of my thoughts and energy. It helps our ministry to grow and to make more people aware of the needs our children at Beautiful Gate have. For me, though, that's not the fruit. For me, the fruit is being able to spend hands on time with my kids. I get to see them grow. I get to see them learn. I get to see them love. I get to see them have the blessing of just being a kid. And I get to see them become part of a forever family. That alone is worth a thousand years of a fundraising. Though fundraising is certainly not my favorite part of my job, it's not without benefit and purpose. Being able to take part in the fruit far outweighs the hard work and anxiety of sowing the seed and waiting for it to grow.


In the end, I've sent out letters, I've given presentations, I'm planning fundraising events. I've done just about all I can think to do. I believe I have been faithful in sowing the seed, and now I have to be patient and trust that God will raise a crop that can be harvested. If you're reading this I pray that you would take a moment, listen to the Holy Spirit, and consider if you might be able to support the work God is calling me to at Beautiful Gate. As always, prayer is the most necessary form of support. However, as I mentioned earlier, I still need 50% of my budget for this year alone. Would you consider contributing toward that amount. I'm also hoping to find someone (or a few someones) who, at the end of each year, would be willing to see the gap I have in my funding and say I or we can take care of that. If God has blessed you with the means to do it, I pray you might consider being a huge part in my ministry and a huge blessing to the Beautiful Gate community. If you decide you do want to join me prayerfully or financially, both my contact and donation information can be found in the right hand sidebar of my blog page.


Thank you to all those who have already come alongside me to help make this ministry a reality. And thank you in advance to those who will.

The Other Side Of The Mission Field

Recently a fellow missionary friend of mine shared a blog post she found with me. It's titled "10 Things Your Missionary Will Not Tell You," written by Joe Holman, a missionary in Bolivia (read it yourself here: http://joe-holman.blogspot.com/2014/08/ten-things-that-your-missionary-will.html?m=1). Joe expresses many of the frustrations that accompany the joys and blessings of being a missionary. He doesn't whine and complain, but tactfully shares many of the "behind the scenes" sort of things that come with the territory of mission work. I won't say all  his words are true for every missionary in every circumstance. If you read through the comments after the post, though, you'll see that he strikes a cord in the hearts of many in the missionary community. I myself couldn't help relating to each of his points to one degree or another. The truth about being a missionary is the same truth for every job, career, or calling out there. It's the same truth for being human. The truth is it's not always pretty or fun or glamorous. Oftentimes it's lonely, frustrating, exhausting, and it can leave you feeling like you're on empty, like you've got nothing left to offer. Joe's right when he writes his post. These are the things we, as missionaries, don't want to share with everyone else. Just like teachers, pastors, nurses, business men/women, we want to appear like we have things under control (especially when we feel like much of our financial support depends on it). The truth, though, is that we're human too. We need the Lord's help just as much as anyone else, even when we know beyond a shadow of a doubt we are doing the work He has called us to do. And the truth is it's silly for us to try and hide these parts of our lives. Instead of hiding behind fake facades and pretending we're thriving when we're really just scraping by, how much more beneficial would it be to share the reality of our situations and come together to support one another as the body of Christ, as the Church? My hope and prayer is that Joe's blog, and other resources like his, will encourage us missionaries to be more transparent about all the aspects of our ministries with those who are supporting us. And I hope it will provide our supporters and donors with more meaningful ways to understand our situations and, therein, be able to support us even better and more holistically than they already do.