It is so similar…
Returning to Lesotho, in a lot of ways, has been so
familiar. I experienced many of the same feelings departing the U.S. that I did
last year. I felt sad that I had to leave my family and friends for another
long period of time. I know God will care for them, but it’s difficult knowing
life moves on back home and there’s a lot that I will miss. I also felt a great
deal of excitement for the adventures ahead of me.
Walking back on campus for the first time was much the same
as last year as well. I felt peace and comfort knowing this will be my home for
the next several months.
The love and joy I experienced when I saw the kids for the
first time was just as intense and overwhelming.
I’m living with the same people I lived with when I came
last year. I get to work with many of the same incredible people this year too.
Just like last year I enjoy spending free time with the
other volunteers. We eat meals together. We go to church together. We go on
adventures together (Lord willing we’ll be hiking this weekend!). We watch
Marvel movies on the weekends together.
The local people, both the staff at Beautiful Gate and
people around town, are still so incredibly friendly and I love getting to know
them.
The joy of seeing kids brought into new families and the
sorrow of seeing others abandoned are still overwhelming and incredibly
motivating.
In so many ways it feels like I never left. It feels like
I’ve picked up right where I left off and no time has passed in between.
But at the same time…
It is so different…
Returning to Lesotho, in a lot of ways, seems so foreign. It
definitely feels like home, but so many things have changed on campus and
around town. When I drive to the mall to go grocery shopping I find that
several shops have moved or gone out of business. Friends I made last year are
no longer around.
Some of the kids I grew to love are no longer on campus. In
some cases that’s a huge answer to prayer because they are now with forever
families, receiving the love and care they deserve. In others, though, it’s
heartbreaking because we have had to transfer the to other care facilities or
return them to situations where we cannot be sure they are being cared for at
all.
My daily schedule is different. Instead of going to a baby
house at 7am I go to the office by 8am. Despite not having to start my day
until later I find myself getting up earlier (like 5:30am earlier). I got to
watch the sunrise on my first morning back. In the mornings I eat breakfast (I
know. Me? Breakfast?) and I spend quality time with God in the Word. Those are
the only parts of my day that’s a given. Unlike last year, when I pretty much
knew where I’d be at any given moment throughout the day, I never know what’s
going to be on the agenda.
I’m no longer a baby house volunteer or a “house father,”
but now I’m a North American Ambassador. I’ll get to work more directly with
those who love and support Beautiful Gate! But I also won’t be as directly
involved with the kids’ daily schedules. Thank God for afternoon playgroup
where I can go out and be with my kids.
In some significant ways I can really feel my absence over
the last few months. It feels like so much has happened and changed since I was
last here in September.
Despite the seeming conflict between the similar and the
different, the old and the new, I take comfort in the fact that my God is
constant. In the good and the bad He is still God. He is with me every moment
of every day, whether I’m in Africa or in North America. Even in the continual
back and forth nature of my life I find stability knowing I’m right where God
wants me to be.
