One of the strangest adjustments coming to Lesotho has been the seasons being opposite. As I write this it's nearly July and I'm sitting on a heated blanket, under two other blankets, with sweatpants and a sweatshirt on. I sometimes still have to remind myself I'm on the other side of the equator. As I shiver I sometimes sing to myself, "It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas..." only to remember that's another six months away yet. For 22 years winter meant Thanksgiving and Christmas and all of a sudden now it means school is letting out for the year. It's a silly and mundane little thing, but it's still strange sometimes.
One thing winter has brought that is less silly or mundane, however, is more children to Beautiful Gate. I was told that we tend to receive more kids during the winter months, but that was made evident to me this month. Within about a 10 day span we welcomed six new children into the BG family, most of them infants. Many of their stories are sad. Some were found abandoned next to a dam or found by shepherds in a field. Some were left in the cold wearing nothing (yes, this is Africa, but for those who don't know it's below freezing at night during the winter season). We believe one was even found just hours after birth because part of the umbilical cord was still attached and recently cut. I don't know the situations of these children's mothers, fathers, or families. I try not to hold judgment in my heart. But the questions still remain: How can you abandon your child? How can you leave him lying naked in the cold? How can you just throw her away? It's something I'll never fully understand. It's why I'm grateful God is in control. It's why I'm thankful He brought these beautiful children, made in His image, to us. Here they will be cared for. Here they will be loved.
Two of the new kids have ended up in my baby house and they are absolutely beautiful. I already love them as much as I love the rest of my kids. One of them is a little girl who was born premature. At 30 days old she only weighed about 4 pounds. She's the smallest little person I've ever seen, let alone held in my arms. The other child is a boy who we received at about 10 days old. It's clear that he was probably a full term baby because at 10 days old he was already more than twice the size of my other new baby. Despite the circumstances they were found in they are both healthy. They both get fed three times a day. They both have clothes on their backs (and a lot of them too; the Basotho love layers...). They both have beds to sleep in at night. They both have dozens of hands to hold them and make them feel loved.
Aspects of life in Lesotho can be discouraging. It's true of any place, really. The high rate of abandonment versus the slow rate of adoption is enough to drive anyone crazy, especially those who know the kids personally. It can be infuriating and oftentimes it feels like Africa won the day. But then I'm reminded it's what I came here for. Not to solve all the issues (as if I could), but to love those who are here. To be light, to be love, to be Jesus to those who God puts in my life. I'm also reminded of the light Beautiful Gate is to our community. Yes, many of our kids have beginnings that rip our hearts apart, but because of BG the rest of their stories can be ones of grace, mercy, love, acceptance, and victory! It's proof that God can make anything beautiful.
Saturday, June 27, 2015
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Hard Questions
Why did she leave me? Why don't they come back for me? When is it my turn to have a family? These are some of the questions I see behind the eyes of a few of our older kids here at Beautiful Gate from time to time. I notice it most when we celebrate an adoption or a reunification. Those are the times we treasure most, but it's difficult to leave the party and look into the eyes of a six-year-old who just witnessed another one of his friends welcomed into a family, knowing he still has to stay here. Oftentimes when we think of orphans we think of adjectives like poor, underprivileged, or sad. While those are sometimes accurate descriptions I'm grateful that my time at BG has shown me that they can also be described as happy, fun, energetic, mischievous, hilarious, and joyful. In all the descriptions, though, one thing they most definitely are not is stupid. Some of our older kids at BG (I'm talking 5-6 years old), many of whom have been here most of their lives, have figured out that when a child leaves campus on a certain day it means they're getting their passport picture taken and then it is only a short matter of time until their family arrives to take them home. They are unbelievably perceptive. Knowing they can figure that out, then, I'm led to wonder if they ever think about having been abandoned and, if so, how often.
This has been on my mind lately because of a recent situation involving one of our five-year-old girls. A small number of our BG kids are here because a parent is in prison. When an individual is considered rehabilitated and is released from a correctional facility in Lesotho, the government may grant her the right to be reunited with her child. The five-year-old girl I mentioned is one of the kids in this circumstance. She's totally a spitfire personality. She's the oldest girl in her house here on campus and she knows it. She can be bossy and preppy and really really naughty, but she's also incredibly sweet, nurturing, and she just wants so desperately to be loved. And in her case it's evident she wants to be loved by her mom. She knows who her mom is and has even been to visit her in prison a few times. She'll often say she's going home with her mom soon, though we've never given her any reason to believe that. However, a couple weeks ago we got word that her mother was being released from the correctional facility and the government had given her permission to pick her daughter up from BG. It's hard to know how to feel when a child you've invested time, energy, and love in is going to be given back to a parent that wasn't present in her life because she'd been in prison. But it's not our decision to make. So we trust in God's plan and pray that He'll take care of her. There was a problem, though. This sweet little girl's mother never showed up. She still hasn't as I'm writing this. She knows her daughter is here. They'd spent time together when we took her to visit. She showed every sign of loving this girl. But she hasn't come to get her. So, our precious girl is still here. Still hoping for a family. Still hoping for her mom.
I'm trying not to be too cynical about the whole situation. After all, I don't know the whole story. I don't know this girl's mom. I don't know if she's capable of taking care of her daughter. Maybe she decided her girl has a better chance at a future if she doesn't come to get her. I don't know. This is what I do know. Our girl is safe here. She's warm here (at least as warm as she can be in the middle of winter). She's fed here. She's clothed here. She's loved here. She has a place to belong here. We're not going to abandon her. Though we aren't her mom we are her family for the time being. And most importantly, no matter what happens, she belongs to God. She's His precious creation. He has a plan for her and it's to prosper her and not to harm her. That gives me hope in these seemingly hopeless situations.
Abba Daddy,
I don't claim to know all Your plans. I don't want to label something a good or bad situation from my own understanding. I know that You can do beautiful things from the most broken circumstances. In our weaknesses You are made strong. So, though I don't know all Your plans, I do know that You are good. You are in control. You are love. Thank you for being our Father whether we have one on earth or not. Thank you for adopting us if and when we have been abandoned. To You alone be all praise, glory, and honor!
Amen
This has been on my mind lately because of a recent situation involving one of our five-year-old girls. A small number of our BG kids are here because a parent is in prison. When an individual is considered rehabilitated and is released from a correctional facility in Lesotho, the government may grant her the right to be reunited with her child. The five-year-old girl I mentioned is one of the kids in this circumstance. She's totally a spitfire personality. She's the oldest girl in her house here on campus and she knows it. She can be bossy and preppy and really really naughty, but she's also incredibly sweet, nurturing, and she just wants so desperately to be loved. And in her case it's evident she wants to be loved by her mom. She knows who her mom is and has even been to visit her in prison a few times. She'll often say she's going home with her mom soon, though we've never given her any reason to believe that. However, a couple weeks ago we got word that her mother was being released from the correctional facility and the government had given her permission to pick her daughter up from BG. It's hard to know how to feel when a child you've invested time, energy, and love in is going to be given back to a parent that wasn't present in her life because she'd been in prison. But it's not our decision to make. So we trust in God's plan and pray that He'll take care of her. There was a problem, though. This sweet little girl's mother never showed up. She still hasn't as I'm writing this. She knows her daughter is here. They'd spent time together when we took her to visit. She showed every sign of loving this girl. But she hasn't come to get her. So, our precious girl is still here. Still hoping for a family. Still hoping for her mom.
I'm trying not to be too cynical about the whole situation. After all, I don't know the whole story. I don't know this girl's mom. I don't know if she's capable of taking care of her daughter. Maybe she decided her girl has a better chance at a future if she doesn't come to get her. I don't know. This is what I do know. Our girl is safe here. She's warm here (at least as warm as she can be in the middle of winter). She's fed here. She's clothed here. She's loved here. She has a place to belong here. We're not going to abandon her. Though we aren't her mom we are her family for the time being. And most importantly, no matter what happens, she belongs to God. She's His precious creation. He has a plan for her and it's to prosper her and not to harm her. That gives me hope in these seemingly hopeless situations.
Abba Daddy,
I don't claim to know all Your plans. I don't want to label something a good or bad situation from my own understanding. I know that You can do beautiful things from the most broken circumstances. In our weaknesses You are made strong. So, though I don't know all Your plans, I do know that You are good. You are in control. You are love. Thank you for being our Father whether we have one on earth or not. Thank you for adopting us if and when we have been abandoned. To You alone be all praise, glory, and honor!
Amen
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Teams of Encouragement
Having teams and short-term volunteers come through Beautiful Gate is always an interesting and humbling experience. As the only long-term volunteer who consistently lives in the Maroon House on campus (where we house short-term teams) I usually have the unique opportunity of getting to know the teams perhaps on a deeper level than many of our other long-term volunteers. Additionally, as someone who has had a great deal of experience in leading worship I'm often invited to participate in leading worship times and devotions for the teams while they are here. During those times we generally begin by going around the room and allowing everyone an opportunity to share their "high" for the day. While many times the "highs" are things I expect to hear from people working with orphans in southern Africa each person has a unique and personal way of sharing their experience with the group. That's one of the reasons I love living in community with the short-term teams that come through. As they experience Beautiful Gate for the first time, I'm reminded of my own first few weeks here. Through their eyes, I get to re-experience the beauty of seeing true joy, love, hope, and peace in the lives of our kids and staff members for the first time. It's always a wonderful reminder of why I'm here and it reenergizes me even when life here seems repetitive or tedious at times.
As I write this we have a team of high school girls from a Christian school in Southwest Michigan with us for 10 days. Late Wednesday night and into Thursday morning several of the girls got sick and were bed ridden (or couch ridden) for the whole of Thursday. We usually anticipate one or two people on a team coming down with something during a trip, but this was eight girls all getting hit at the same time. It was kind of crazy! All of a sudden over half of their team was forced to miss out on a day of service here at BG. This was clearly not part of the plan for their trip and it was evident that the sick girls were terribly disappointed they would not be able to see the kids that day. Despite this rather unfortunate turn of events, however, the team's blog entry for the day was entitled "God is Still Good." They honestly shared their disappointments with the situation, but at the same time rejoiced in the blessings they still saw. It was so humbling to see such a young group praise God amidst hardships, suffering, and disappointment. It was a brilliant reminder that things don't always go according to our plans. We have an enemy that tries to derail our efforts to do the good, pleasing, and perfect will of our Father. But even in the battle we have hope because our Abba Daddy has already won the war. He is in control of all things at all times.
Just as Barnabas (Son of Encouragement) was an encourager for the early church the short-term teams that come to Beautiful Gate are encouragers to us. They encourage the house mothers and staff by affirming the work they do and the sacrifices they make. They encourage us volunteers by coming alongside us and praying for and with us. They encourage the children by taking time out of their busy lives to come to a little country called Lesotho and show love to those that others have called unlovable. Each person who comes through here is a Barnabas in my life. Whether they mean to or not they redirect me to God and prove that His love and faithfulness are greater than I can ever begin to imagine. I am so grateful.
Interested in reading the 2015 Holland Christian team's blog? Check it out here:
https://hcbeautifulgatetrip2015.wordpress.com/
As I write this we have a team of high school girls from a Christian school in Southwest Michigan with us for 10 days. Late Wednesday night and into Thursday morning several of the girls got sick and were bed ridden (or couch ridden) for the whole of Thursday. We usually anticipate one or two people on a team coming down with something during a trip, but this was eight girls all getting hit at the same time. It was kind of crazy! All of a sudden over half of their team was forced to miss out on a day of service here at BG. This was clearly not part of the plan for their trip and it was evident that the sick girls were terribly disappointed they would not be able to see the kids that day. Despite this rather unfortunate turn of events, however, the team's blog entry for the day was entitled "God is Still Good." They honestly shared their disappointments with the situation, but at the same time rejoiced in the blessings they still saw. It was so humbling to see such a young group praise God amidst hardships, suffering, and disappointment. It was a brilliant reminder that things don't always go according to our plans. We have an enemy that tries to derail our efforts to do the good, pleasing, and perfect will of our Father. But even in the battle we have hope because our Abba Daddy has already won the war. He is in control of all things at all times.
Just as Barnabas (Son of Encouragement) was an encourager for the early church the short-term teams that come to Beautiful Gate are encouragers to us. They encourage the house mothers and staff by affirming the work they do and the sacrifices they make. They encourage us volunteers by coming alongside us and praying for and with us. They encourage the children by taking time out of their busy lives to come to a little country called Lesotho and show love to those that others have called unlovable. Each person who comes through here is a Barnabas in my life. Whether they mean to or not they redirect me to God and prove that His love and faithfulness are greater than I can ever begin to imagine. I am so grateful.
Interested in reading the 2015 Holland Christian team's blog? Check it out here:
https://hcbeautifulgatetrip2015.wordpress.com/
Friday, June 12, 2015
Surprise Surprise
A few weeks ago I experienced one of the greatest surprises of my life. It started like most any other Tuesday here at Beautiful Gate. I went to the local missionary school and taught chapel in the morning and when I returned I began preparing slides for a worship night we would be having that evening. I was a little stressed because we were expecting the arrival of a family who would be serving at BG for the next week and a half and, being the perfectionist that I tend to be, I wanted to make sure everything was ready for them before they arrived. Right in the middle of my worship preparations something came up, though. Bryan came into the Maroon House and told me the family had more luggage than we expected and the car that had been sent to pick them wouldn't be able to bring them and all their luggage back. He asked if I'd be willing to go along with him to help. I quickly agreed, assuming I'd have time in the afternoon to finish the slides, and jumped in the truck with him. We headed to the airport. About 15 minutes later we entered the airport and there in front of me stood the "Hartman" family who we were supposed to pick up. However, I quickly realized I was target of an intricate plot that had been going on for the past six months. The family standing in front of me was not the Hartman family I had willingly agreed to help collect from the airport. Instead my own family stood there with cheeky "Surprise, we got you!" looks on their faces! Inwardly, I was overjoyed. Outwardly, though, I was only able to turn to Bryan and jokingly tell him I hated him for keeping this a secret. I'm still dumbfounded at how many people were able to keep it a secret for six months! I give props to everyone involved because I was seriously and genuinely surprised! I never imagined that my family would be able to find the time or the funds to travel half-way around the globe to visit me and see what I'm doing in Lesotho.
The next 10 days went too fast, but they were wonderful. I got to share my experience at Beautiful Gate with my dad, mom, sister, and grandma. They were able to see where I live. They met the staff and the children I work with. They laughed and played with them and discovered just how easy it is to fall in love with them. They got to see the city, experience my driving (which is always an adventure in Maseru), worship in our church, hold baby lions, and live the life I've been living every day for the past nine months. Toward the end of their visit we were even able to go on a safari in South Africa! Suddenly and finally they were able to understand everything I've been telling them about since I left in a way they couldn't before. They were able to see first hand the experience I've had and can fully understand and appreciate how and why it's changed me. They were able to be changed themselves. Despite all the changes, though, I was pleasantly surprised to see just how quickly we were able to fall back into old familial habits and tendencies. In our free time we'd just sit and talk. At dinner we'd make ridiculous jokes that had no place at the dinner table. Jessi and I found we were still able to annoy one another fairly easily. Grandma is still able to talk to anyone and everyone about anything (even if they are semi-embarrassing stories from my childhood). Despite time and distance and change my family was and is still my family.
When it came time to say goodbye and send them back to America I was again surprised. It wasn't the emotional, teary-eyed goodbye we'd said last September. While it was still sad to see them go they were going with a sense of peace. The unknowns in my life are now known. They know for a fact I am being taken care of here. They were able to see, touch, and feel the life God has called me to and be affirmed that He really has called me to it. Though their time here was far too short I found I was strangely excited for them to go home. Not because I was sick of having them around by any means, but because I was excited for them to be able to share our experience together with the rest of the people who are supporting me, loving me, praying for me, and advocating for me back home. I'm excited because now when I go home I have people who I can process with. I have people who have been in the trenches with me; people who have experienced to good and the bad, the fun and the difficult. I have a community who can embrace me when I don't know how to be an American in America anymore because they shared the experience with me. And I'm just so blessed that that community also happens to be my family.
The next 10 days went too fast, but they were wonderful. I got to share my experience at Beautiful Gate with my dad, mom, sister, and grandma. They were able to see where I live. They met the staff and the children I work with. They laughed and played with them and discovered just how easy it is to fall in love with them. They got to see the city, experience my driving (which is always an adventure in Maseru), worship in our church, hold baby lions, and live the life I've been living every day for the past nine months. Toward the end of their visit we were even able to go on a safari in South Africa! Suddenly and finally they were able to understand everything I've been telling them about since I left in a way they couldn't before. They were able to see first hand the experience I've had and can fully understand and appreciate how and why it's changed me. They were able to be changed themselves. Despite all the changes, though, I was pleasantly surprised to see just how quickly we were able to fall back into old familial habits and tendencies. In our free time we'd just sit and talk. At dinner we'd make ridiculous jokes that had no place at the dinner table. Jessi and I found we were still able to annoy one another fairly easily. Grandma is still able to talk to anyone and everyone about anything (even if they are semi-embarrassing stories from my childhood). Despite time and distance and change my family was and is still my family.
When it came time to say goodbye and send them back to America I was again surprised. It wasn't the emotional, teary-eyed goodbye we'd said last September. While it was still sad to see them go they were going with a sense of peace. The unknowns in my life are now known. They know for a fact I am being taken care of here. They were able to see, touch, and feel the life God has called me to and be affirmed that He really has called me to it. Though their time here was far too short I found I was strangely excited for them to go home. Not because I was sick of having them around by any means, but because I was excited for them to be able to share our experience together with the rest of the people who are supporting me, loving me, praying for me, and advocating for me back home. I'm excited because now when I go home I have people who I can process with. I have people who have been in the trenches with me; people who have experienced to good and the bad, the fun and the difficult. I have a community who can embrace me when I don't know how to be an American in America anymore because they shared the experience with me. And I'm just so blessed that that community also happens to be my family.
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